Anger Issues
by Bralt
Summary: Halt has to go to the therapist
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters**

Anger Issues

"Just go to the counselor Halt." Pauline looked at her husband. He could be so stubborn sometimes.

"No. Why should I?" Halt crossed his arms and slumped down in his chair.

"You threw a knight in the moat yesterday! Every time you get angry, somebody ends up in the moat and it's about time that stopped." Pauline sat down at the table across from Halt. "Just do it."

"I can control my anger perfectly fine." Halt frowned.

"Then why did the knight end up in the moat?" Pauline took a sip of her tea. Unlike Halt, she could control her frustration.

"Because he messed with my coffee. And anybody with a brain knows that you don't mess with a Rangers coffee." Halt considered a moment. "But then again, maybe that's why he was a knight. You don't need brains for that." Pauline sighed. Halt was once again trying to change the subject.

"Just go once. If you've faced death I don't know how many times, you can face a therapist once. And who knows, you just might like it."

"I doubt that I'll like talking to a complete stranger about my life. I am perfectly fine." Halt uncrossed his arms as if to prove it.

"You are not fine. If throwing a knight into the moat isn't enough to convince you, how about the incident with Crowley a short while ago?" Pauline was getting really agitated with Halt's stubbornness.

"He deserved to be tied to a tree! You should've heard what he said!" Despite himself, Halt smiled. The look on Crowley's face that day had been priceless.

"Just go to the stupid counselors!" Pauline was plain stressed right now and Halt saw that. She thought for a moment before adding, "If you don't, then I'll take your coffee away and you won't get it back until you go!"

"You wouldn't," Halt said knowing perfectly well that she would.

"Watch me." Pauline stood and went to get the bag Halt stored his coffee grounds in.

"What are you doing?" Halt stood as she walked out the door with the bag in her hands.

She walked to the railing of the verandah and held the bag over it. "Go or I turn this bag upside down." As if to prove it, she tilted her hand sideways a little so a handful fell out.

"Your evil, I hope you know that." Halt walked down the steps and went to mount Abelard.

Pauline smiled and walked back inside smiling. Convincing Halt to go to counseling was almost as hard as getting him to go to the barbers.

**If you've read Halt's Favorite, you'll know what the incident with Crowley was about :)**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters**

Halt rode down the path to the castle, yes, but he didn't go to the castle. As soon as he was out of sight of the cabin, he steered Abelard into the trees. It was morning and the rabbits would be out so he unslung his bow from his shoulder and dismounted Abelard in a clearing. He then went back into the thick trees to go hunting.

"I don't need counseling, I'm perfectly fine. Counseling is for the insane and I'm perfectly sane," Halt said to himself in a whisper. He spotted a rabbit and immediately fell silent. He drew the string to the bow back and shot. Perfect as usual. "Next person who tells me I need counseling better watch out," He said.

Halt continued his grumbling for another hour or so while he hunted. He killed three more rabbits and didn't bother with six others. If he had too many, Pauline might get suspicious. He was already planning out how to lie to her. His story was that he saw two going to the castle and saw two more on the way back.

He walked back to Abelard who looked at him as if he had gone insane. Halt mounted and rode back towards the path.

"You don't think I need counseling do you?" Abelard bobbed his head as if he were actually answering. Which he probably was. "Well you're a horse! What do you know?" His horse was even going against him. Halt sighed, why did everybody think he had anger issues?

Halt was back to the cabin in a matter of minutes and decided to act as if the counseling was a waste of time. Which he thought it was anyway. If Pauline bought it, he may never have to go back. He settled Abelard down and walked inside with no expression showing. Pauline was reading reports at the table she smiled at him as he walked in with the rabbits.

"How'd it go at the therapist? Do you feel any better?" She put the reports down as Halt took his seat.

"It was a waste of time just like I said it would be." Halt threw his cowl back and laid the rabbits on the floor. He would deal with them later.

"Where did the rabbits come from?" She pointed towards the pile on the floor.

"I got lucky. On the way in, two of them crossed my path and I figured that we could use them. On the way back, I figured I'd do a little hunting to blow off some steam." He looked her in the eyes to make sure she was buying it.

"So what did he ask you?" Pauline suspected something was up.

"He asked a bunch of questions. Stupid ones at that." Halt shrugged. "Do you have any coffee?" He tried to change the subject.

"Halt! You didn't even go! I can see it in your eyes!" Pauline sighed. She had thought he would try something like this.

"I did to go!" Halt protested. "Now back to the coffee. Is there any?"

"If you went, then what was the therapist's name?" Pauline crossed her arms and stared him down.

"His name?" She nodded. "His name was…Bob." Halt shifted. He had failed, she now knew his lie.

"Halt! I just want to help you! I'm worried." She looked at him with sad eyes. That almost killed him.

"I don't need some stranger tell…" Pauline cut him off.

"This man isn't a stranger. I made sure of that." She looked at him sadly.

"Who is it?"

"Guess you'll have to go to find out."

"Fine! I'll go after lunch! Now, I was serious about the coffee." Halt leaned forward with expecting eyes.

"Not until you go. There are a few hours before lunch, you can go now and be back before lunch with time to spare." Halt tried to kiss her cheek but she leaned away. "Not until you go for real."

Halt sighed and stood up. He went outside unwillingly for the second time that day and mounted Abelard. On the ride there, he grumbled to himself and earned a few worried glances from his horse.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters.**

Halt climbed the stairs and walked down a hall filled with wooden doors. He went the third one on the left and walked in without knocking. What he saw made him freeze. It was a small square room with carpet and tapestries everywhere like almost every other room. There was a comfy chair across from a wide wooden desk. But none of that was what surprised him. It was the person who was sitting behind the desk.

"Thanks for knocking," Rodney said. "It took you long enough; I've been waiting here for about an hour and a half!" Rodney smiled as Halt took the seat across from the desk.

"So you're the therapist now?" Halt's voice had a slight touch of disbelief.

"Correction, I'm your therapist. Pauline thought it was a good idea because I know you and how you can get." Rodney smiled like this happened every day.

"Whatever, let's just get on with this garbage." Halt rolled his eyes.

"Okay then. So…what makes you angry?" Rodney obviously didn't know what he was doing.

"Apprentices, little kids, stupid knights, not having coffee, being here…"

"Whoa! How about you name the top three things?" Rodney said cutting him off. This was going to be harder than he thought.

"Not having coffee, stupid knights…" Halt glared at Rodney. "And when anybody hurts Pauline."

"Wait! My knights aren't stupid!" Rodney looked truly offended.

"I beg to differ! Just yesterday one messed with my coffee! You're lucky I took mercy on him and didn't put an arrow through the meat slab he calls a head." Halt sat back in the chair and crossed his arms.

"You really do have anger issues." That earned eye daggers from Halt. "So…do you always react by throwing the people in moats?"

"No, sometimes they end up with an arrow through their leg. Or head if it's allowed." Halt thought a minute. "And sometimes they get a lovely evening up a tree." Rodney started laughing.

"Wow Halt. Remind me not to cross paths with you when you're angry." Rodney smiled as Halt just frowned. "Well, you can't do that anymore. It's reckless and apparently you're worrying people. They think that you might be a little too grim."

"I am not too grim! I've been like this all my life and this is the first time anybody made me go to the therapist." Halt looked at Rodney. "Or whatever you're supposed to be."

"Moving on. Why do you react the way you do? Why not just give them a talking to or report them to their masters or the baron?"

"They won't learn that way. And before you ask, I'm not going to start sending out letters of my displeasure." Halt stayed straight faced but Rodney had to let out a bark of laughter.

"Well, the next time you get angry, take deep breaths and count to ten. I trust you know how to do that." More death stares from Halt. He was getting a little agitated. "Or if it suits you, count to two five times." Rodney smiled but Halt looked annoyed.

"They still won't learn. If I count to ten before I chuck them in a moat, they'll think I've lost it."

"Well to be fair, you lost it some time back." Rodney was enjoying his little teasing.

"Come on Rodney." Halt reached across the desk and grabbed Rodney by the collar. Despite his size, Halt had an iron grip Rodney couldn't escape. "You are going to see why I throw people in moats." Halt managed to heave Rodney across the desk and headed to the door with him squirming all the way. "The more you squirm, the higher I drop you from," Halt said with a warning voice. Rodney stopped immediately.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or ant of its characters**

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Halt marched down the stairs with Rodney following reluctantly. He could easily break free if he wanted, but then what? Would he run? Halt would chase him. Would he hide? That was too cowardly. Would he fight Halt? Rodney looked at him. Definitely not. Nothing could make him do that.

As Halt walked into the courtyard, people cast worried glances but Rodney just smiled and waved as if this always happened and was perfectly normal. The people just nodded and pretended to not take notice but Halt could feel their stares as he walked to the opened drawbridge with his hand still holding Rodney by the collar. He stopped in the middle of the bridge and walked over to the edge.

"Come on Halt! I'm sorry! I promise I'll never try to counsel you again!" Rodney looked down at Halt. Halt showed no emotion.

"Is that all?" Rodney cast worried looks around hoping somebody would stop this madness. It was a good five foot drop into the moat and he hated water. Finally he shook his head. "Have a good swim." Halt gave Rodney a mighty shove and watched as he fell and made a big splash.

Rodney came up spluttering and none too happy. He swam to the edge of the moat and tried to make his way up but the slope was too slippery and he ended up falling back in, now covered in mud. He looked up at the bridge and watched as Halt walked back into the castle walls to get his horse. People walked across the bridge and looked at him weird but continued on their way. Finally one of his final year apprentices walked across and looked at him.

"Need any help sir?" The apprentice called. Despite his training, he couldn't keep the amusement out of his voice.

"As a matter of fact I do! Would you mind going to get a towel and a rope?" Rodney wiped the dripping water out of his eyes.

"Who did this to you?" The apprentice asked with a worried tone. He had a determined look in his eyes.

"Unless you want to end up down here also, I recommend you let it go!" Rodney shouted up. "Now hurry! It's getting a little tiring just swimming here!" The apprentice ran off to get the supplies.

As soon as the apprentice had disappeared, Halt rode across the bridge on Abelard. He stopped to look at Rodney. "Did you learn anything?" He yelled down.

"Yes Halt." Rodney looked up at him.

"Will you ever tease me or try to counsel me again?" Halt went on.

"No Halt. I won't." Rodney looked down at the swirling water around him.

"Do you feel a bit silly?"

"Yes Halt," Rodney said.

"Then the lesson was learned. Much better than if the baron talked to you." Halt rode off leaving Rodney waiting for his apprentice.

Halt rode through the forest back to the cabin feeling, if possible, more irritated then when he had left. It was about an hour before lunch and he still hadn't had his coffee. And to make it worse, he knew Pauline would hear about the Rodney incident. He started to mumble to himself again and Abelard shook his head as if he believed his master was going insane. Which he probably was. Halt got to the cabin and took an extra-long time putting Abelard away. He knew Pauline didn't know about the incident yet but he would have to tell her about it if he wanted to avoid her worse anger.

He sighed and walked into the cabin where Pauline was still at the table doing paperwork. He pushed his cowl down and sat across from her. She looked up and smiled. He smiled weakly back but put enough in it so she didn't know anything was up.

"Was that so bad?"

"In my opinion, no, it wasn't that bad. In Rodney's opinion, well let's just say that he isn't too enthused about how his first counseling job went." He shifted uncomfortably as Pauline's gaze snapped up from the paperwork to his face. He felt her eyes boring into in soul.

"What's that mean?" She set down the quill and leaned back in her chair a little bit.

"He was waiting for an apprentice to fish him out of the moat when I left." She looked at him expecting a confession. "I threw him into the moat," Halt said quietly to his feet.

"What?"

"I threw him in the moat." Halt looked at her. "But he's okay. Just a little…not happy."

"That's it Halt! If you aren't going to even talk to Rodney, then I'll have to counsel you!" She stood and walked out to the verandah for some fresh air. Halt just sat there for a moment. He got up and walked out to stand by her leaning against the railing.

"Do I get my coffee now?" He asked timidly. He realized his mistake to late as Pauline gave him a thwack on the side of the head. _Talk about anger issues._ He thought.

**Remember to review and I'll review one of your stories**. **Please and thank you. Oh my! I'm getting manners! I would like to give credit to JustaBunchaHOOPLA who gave me the idea for dumping Rodney in the moat. Feel free to drop ideas off and I'll consider using them.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters**

"Go back and apologize to Rodney. Now." Pauline glared down at Halt from here standing position on the verandah.

She felt a twinge of guilt as he rubbed the back of his head and stood up. He looked at her with mild surprise and she flicked her hand as if trying to shoo a fly away. He just stood there for a moment.

"Is something wrong?" She asked with more force than she had intended.

"Do I have to apologize to Rodney? He's a knight for Gorlog's sake!"

"And what does that have to do with anything? Horace is a knight and Will always apologizes to him."

"That's because Will is a giant softy. But Rodney's a knight; he should be able to get past a friendly shove in the moat!" He stood still, not wanting to go back.

"Just go. And when you get back, we can have lunch and start your counseling." She turned and walked into the cabin, signaling the matter was closed.

Halt walked to saddle Abelard yet again. While he was saddling him, he mocked Pauline's words. He mounted and started down the path to the castle for the third time that day. As he went, he continued to mock her but started to feel empty. It was then that he realized he had still not had his coffee. He moaned. This day just got better and better.

Halt rode across the drawbridge and put Abelard in the stables, making sure the stable boy knew enough not to go near his horse. He walked to the baron's study and knocked on the door. There was a muffled response and Halt took it as permission to enter. He walked into the familiar room and sat down in a chair across from Arald.

"Where's Rodney?" Halt asked.

"Hello to you to." Arald looked at Halt with a grin. "Are you going to shove him in another moat? We had quite the time pulling him out." The baron chuckled.

"Pauline told me I had to apologize." Halt rolled his eyes. That made the baron smiled.

"Oh! So when Pauline tells you to do something, you do it but when I ask you to stop chucking knights in the moat, I get a week of silent treatment." The baron laughed, signaling that the jab was meant in a friendly manner. Halt just glared.

"You haven't seen Pauline when she's angry. Now tell me where Rodney is."

"First promise you won't throw him in the moat again. The village folk are already spreading rumors about that. None too good from what I've heard."

"I promise not to throw the noble Rodney into Redmont moat. Now tell me where he is if you would."

"He's watching drills down at the battle school." Arald smiled as Halt got up and left.

Halt walked to the drill yard and spotted Rodney leaning against the fence watching his apprentices. Halt approached silently and leaned against the fence by Rodney. Natural reflexes made Rodney react to the sudden appearance and he hit Halt. Rodney looked at the figure that was now lying on the ground and he laughed.

"This is why you shouldn't sneak around." Rodney reached a hand down to help the Ranger up but Halt stood on his own.

"What if I had been Duncan and you reacted like that? You knights need to learn to think before you act," Halt said grumpily. Rodney just smiled.

"Maybe I should buy you a little bell to hang around your neck so that doesn't happen again." Rodney leaned back up against the fence and Halt joined him. "If you're here to throw me back in the moat, I ask you to at least give me a rope. My apprentice took forever getting one and then he couldn't throw it far enough out." Rodney smiled.

"No matter how much I want to do that again, I can't. I'm here because Pauline told me I had to apologize." Rodney turned to face Halt and his smile broadened.

"Go on then, apologize." Halt glared at him.

"I am sorry you agitated me and forced me to take action and gently push you into the moat."

"That push was anything but gentle! And I still don't see how I agitated you." Rodney was enjoying himself. It's not that often you can get away with annoying Halt. "Say sorry for real."

"I'm sorry for shoving you into a moat," Halt said through gritted teeth.

"I couldn't quite hear that. Do you mind repeating it?" Rodney cupped a hand behind his ear and made it look like he was straining to listen.

"You heard me." Halt turned and walked away, leaving Rodney grinning like a drunk.

**Review and I'll review your stories. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters.**

_Note: italics mean the language is in Hibernian_

Halt rode back to the cabin and, yet again, settled Abelard into his shelter. He made a promise to himself that he wouldn't go back to the castle today no matter what. Unless he was out of coffee of course. He walked into the cabin to the smell of cooked rabbit and coffee. He sat down at his seat and Pauline handed him a plate with his lunch. She set his coffee down on the table then sat down across from him with a smile.

"I figured we could do the counseling over lunch." Halt sighed but she only smiled wider. "First I want to ask you why you do these things. Why do you punish people by throwing them in the moat?" Halt went to answer when an idea struck him. He smiled inwardly and congratulated himself.

_"They deserve it._" He said in flawless Hibernian language. Pauline's eyes widened as she realized what he was doing.

"Don't do this Halt! I'm warning you." She glared at him. For the first time that day, he smiled.

_"Watch me." _He smirked. He enjoyed the feeling that Pauline couldn't understand him.

"At least tell me what language you're speaking!" She stopped eating and looked at him.

_"Well my fair lady, I'm speaking my native tongue."_ Halt smirked again and took a sip of his coffee.

"Please Halt! I'm just trying to help!" She sighed. He was impossible. Halt smiled again and decided to have a little fun with himself. She wouldn't understand him but it would be better that way.

_"Why no, I don't think Skandians can spell to well either." _To add effect, Halt laughed a rare laugh and saw the look on Pauline's face and laughed harder.

"Halt! What did you just say?" Pauline looked desperate.

_"I said that I am an evil sorcerer that will lock you in a tree if you continue this." _Halt laughed maniacally and Pauline gave him a worried look.

"Halt! Stop with this foolishness and talk normal!"

"That is quite offensive! I thought it was a brilliant plan," Halt said in Araluen tongue. He drained his mug then looked at her with fake anger.

"Finally, you're talking normal." She said in relief. "Now let's get back to counseling. Can you tell me why you chose to throw people in the moats?" Halt pretended that he hadn't heard her and continued to eat his lunch. She sighed. "Not this game Halt!"

Halt again ignored her and she shook her head. This was impossible! She started to eat her lunch again. Every so often she looked up to see if she could catch him looking at her. He continued to look at his lunch and pretend she wasn't even there. Pauline knew he could keep this up as long as he wanted while she would continue to get aggravated. When she finished her meal, she tried again.

"Halt, at least talk to me. I'm only doing this to help you." He ignored her. "How about this, if you agree to be counseled at least once by me, then you'll never have to do it again. I just think that if you talked about what stresses you, you might feel less angry." She put on a fake hurt look. Halt looked up.

"You swear that it will be only one counseling session and then I'll never have to do it again?"

"As long as you tell me some of your feelings." Halt was grinning inside.

"Okay." Pauline smiled. She had no idea what Halt was planning. "I have to finish some paperwork. We can do the counseling over dinner." She smiled again.

**Remember to review and I'll review your stories. :) **

**I give credit to Ranger Adrian who thought of the idea to have Halt speak in his native tongue to aggravate his counselor.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters**

**I don't know about this chapter but I'll let you be the judge of that.**

**I would like to thank Apprentice of Fire and JustaBunchaHOOPLA who reviewed every single chapter.**

Halt sat down at the table with a straight line for a mouth. Inside he couldn't wait to start the counseling. He was about to prove why he shouldn't be counseled. She sat down across from him after setting down a plate with the rest of the rabbit. She had even made him coffee.

"So, let's start with why you do the things you do. Why do you take the more…non-calm way to settle things?" She started to eat.

"Because they deserve it and it teaches them not to do it again." Halt started eating also.

"But why do they deserve it?" Pauline looked up at him willing him to answer reasonably.

"Because they were probably getting on my nerves and I don't like that." Halt took a sip of his coffee and then went back to eating.

"That isn't a good reason," Pauline said with a note of disapproval.

"It doesn't have to be, it works. I have never had somebody mess with me twice."

Pauline sighed. "Moving on. How have you been feeling lately? Have you had any stress to deal with?"

"I've had to deal with you forcing me to take counseling, I've had to deal with a wise cracking Crowley and I've had to deal with a horse that thinks I'm loco. Altogether, I've been feeling just fine."

"Be serious."

"I am and now that I've shared my feelings of being fine, I don't have to do anything." Halt grinned. This counseling junk was over. Pauline frowned as she realized she had been tricked.

"Halt! You tricked me!" Halt just nodded, he didn't seem too disturbed over the fact. "Well, I don't count that as sharing your feelings. We are going to continue to go on with these sessions until you actually show some emotion." Halt set his fork down and got up.

He walked over to her and gently picked her up making sure that she wouldn't slip and couldn't escape. "I'm getting quite tired of this counseling." He walked out the door and headed towards the forest. The sunset was casting shadows, but it was enough to see in.

"Halt what are you doing?" Despite herself, she smiled. She had an idea of where they were going, she just didn't want to see what would happen when they got there.

"You'll see."

Halt carried her a short ways until they got to a pond. She squirmed as he started walking into the pond but he didn't let go. When they had gotten to chest deep water, he dropped her in the water with a big grin on his face. She surfaced and slapped his chest.

"What was that for?" She pushed the wet hair out of her eyes.

"Are you ever going to try to counsel me again?" He looked at her with a slight smirk.

"Not after that!"

"Now you know why I drop people in moats. They never want to do it again." Halt started towards the shore with Pauline following. When he had helped her out of the water, they started walking back towards the cabin.

They were almost home when Pauline broke the silence that had surrounded them. "I see that dropping people into wet areas is quiet effective." She said this so sincerely that Halt looked at her quizzically. "Do you mind coming with me on some of my missions? I can think of several people who deserve to be dropped into moats." Halt smiled and nodded his head.

"Gladly. But you could try to counsel them. That was torturous."

**Remember to review and I'll review your stories. Now I will be dropping off the story writing radar until next weekend. I just can't fit writing around all the homework they shovel onto us.**


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